Nov 9, 2017



On the flight back after another rough week. Last year I had done 3 jobs and still landed a slightly above average ipf. This year I bequeathed procurement to Stuart but still hung on to freight forwarding. I was dissatisfied enough to get rid of both but then i thought well maybe this time I will have a different boss who might recognize my efforts and reward me accordingly. However my new boss has his own methods of coming up with the ratings and it depends on feedback from stakeholders. As it happens some of that feedback is very negative. That is surprising- people generally dont hate me. I must be doing something different! I cant wait to hear the feedback.  But on a heavier, more practical note, it may spell the end of a career in Shell. One poor ipf and i am toast- in this day and age, and given the structural disadvantages I have around skin colour and passport, it is not likely to get me to the next level and I can either hang around at this level or just leave gracefully. But where should I go? And what city..dubai? Singapore? India?

When you put things in perspective it is not that bad- any exit from shell should lead to a payout. And then i can have the option of just taking a break, taking stock and planning my next move..can i make the transition from being a hunter and gatherer to being merely a pursuer of endorphin-producing activities- whatever they might be...it depends less on the size of the nest egg already accumulated than it does the courage to listen to your heart and the ability to re-invent yourself.


Post bgc is a good time to start over I think. The journey of early adulthood disenchantment that started with college - which was the first foray into the real world- can be seen as having reached its zenith at BGC. It is as if all that is wrong with the world we live in has been carved in relief at bgc, for me to consume in high-definition.


Pussilanimity, schadenfreude, back stabbing, racism, pettiness, luridness, nepotism, narcissism, treachery, inequity or just casual mud slinging for fun...whatever your deep and dark desire, bgc can fulfil it. To compensate for this horrendous life- a life that strips open humanity and exposes its hideous underbelly-they pay you handsomely.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Remembering KC Ryan

Image
As I lay on my bed in Block 2-Room 11, in the campat khor al zubair, a distant memory came rushing in ..seemingly out of nowhere. But while the analysis of why it came could wait, I thought it best to pen the memory itself. Kenneth Charles Ryan (KC Ryan).. Ex quarterback for univ notre dame now salesman extraordinaire for spx contech ( pronounced contetch by kartik) . He used to be the main man for our business with Daimler Chrysler. We would visit the chrysler headquarters in Auburn Hills , Michigan- that really elegant north detroit suburb. The office was out of this planet for a car maker. Sleek as hell- futuristic with the then in vogue gangster car strewn randomly across the corridoor. I forget the name ( PT Cruiser? ). I had wanted one but could never get beyond the predictable and pragmatic toyota corolla. My first as well as second car- need to tell the story about the demise of my first car. ( btw, now I drive a beautiful and german Audi Q7 SUV).  I looked forward to these...
Read more

Thoughts on Contemporary Leadership

Leadership has to be value based and not normative- as complexity increases, rule books cannot be all encompassing and cannot keep up with the rate of exponential change. Therefore you need values and emanating from those values are the ethical considerations which are part and parcel of your interiority- that has to be the guiding force- and to me it is the only way forward. Which then means that leaders need to be compassionate people and not power hungry megalomaniacs- which is a change from the last century- and you see the tech industry already reflecting what I feel is a larger impending phenomenon.    Where Indians in particular, but all developing countries within a democratic set up in general have a leg up over their counterparts is that these folks have had first-hand experience dealing with inequality and systematic macro-inequities all their life. Therefore if you find someone within this mix with the right values, chances are that they are the real deal. It is ba...
Read more

Nov 25, 2019

The trap of second comings They say that the second coming is never quite the same as the first- and the incandescence of the first time in any successful endeavour is a tough act to follow. Parallels particularly present themselves from the rock music industry where there is a band that brilliantly bursts into the scene and produces some magic on their first album- never to quite repeat that ever again. Infact , our own bangla band in Singapore was a bit like that. In 2011 no one expected much from a pot pourri of amateurs that were only marginally bengali or even Indian to begin with but who took the stage innocuously at 9.30 pm on Nabami Night. What followed were some high quality renditions of familiar band songs. It left many people in the audience in awe- not just entertained. Bengalis are notoriously squeamish about offering any praise in matters beyond their ken. Music was one of those subjects where they , generally speaking, could be said to profess some degree of knowledge t...
Read more